seawasp (seawasp) wrote,
seawasp
seawasp

  • Music:

'Tis The Season Post II

I wrote this one MANY years ago, before I even finished my first degree.

It is best for those who are, or were, RPGers and who know what kind of gamer a "munchkin" is...



(to the tune of "Jingle Bells", of course)

Slashing through the Orcs
With a good two-handed blade
Over corpses we go
And through the gore we wade
Mace on helmet rings
Making bodies fly
What fun to sing our SLAYING song
And watch these suckers DIE!

(chorus)

Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold
For Fame and Gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

Crashing through the door
Into the dragon's nose
Our mage whips out a Cone of Cold
And out his fire goes!
Elven bowstrings sing
Making Balrogs fall
And our thief finds a secret door
Into the treasure hall!

(chorus)

Then appears the Lich
With his demon guard
Our wizard yawns and wishes
We'd run into something HARD.
He begins to cast
His 19th level spell
The damn Lich throws a Gate at us
And drops us all in Hell!

(chorus)

We appear in Hell
In front of Satan's throne
Our cleric waves us out the door
And takes him on alone!
Satan's legions don't
Want to let us go
Our Techno pulls a bazooka out
And NUKES 'em 'til they GLOW!

Oh, ring their bells with Prayers and Spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold and CRAZED, we're told
To think we'll live the day!
Oh, ring their bells with Swords and SHELLS
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

Yes, we'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And drag our loot away!
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